It seems our gaze in life tends to stay at our own steps. We do not look to God until we need His help. Maybe our struggles and the trials that come our way are part of God's plan to steer us closer and make us learn to lean upon his sturdy strength, like a redwood tree that reaches towards the heavens.
I just wanted to take the time to thank you all for your prayers for Jennifer. She is off life support and was moved into a regular room on Monday. She will be going home in the next couple of days.
"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."
~Havelock Ellis
When you hold on to the hand of
someone on life support, it really makes you think about what holding on really
means. So much of the time in life we are told to just let go.
It could be resentment, un-forgiveness towards a family member, or a box that
is too heavy for our strength to attempt carrying. Whatever it may be,
we are instructed to let go, but standing here in the ICU of the hospital, I am
overwhelmed with the helpless feeling of the need to hold on for dear life.Each time I reach out to this weak hand, she
still squeezes with a strong grip, as if saying “don’t let me go, please don’t
let me go.”Life is such a fragile
thing.When our life is healthy and whole
we tend to take it for granted and let it loose like a dog with no leash through an open gate.Yet
when it is no longer completely within our grasp we want to protect it and hold
on to its leash securely and never let go.As I stand here beside this bed with tubes and devices all over the
place, I hold on to a precious hand, and I can only think about just that,
holding on tenderly and never letting go.A once vibrant young woman is now
reliant on a machine for air to live, and everything is uncertain.I only know that she does not want me to let
go of her hand, and I do not want her to let go of the will to survive.