"If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.
~ Neil Simon
Sometimes my mind needs a border collie to steer it in the right direction
cause my sense of boundaries sometimes gets lost
you see agoraphobia runs in our family
my grandmother only left the house
once a year to vote
my mother followed the same path
our summers growing up were weeks on end at home
when I was in my 30's I discovered I had a touch of it
on a grander level if you will
we went on a trip to Missouri and I suddenly felt
anxiety and had no reason why
after a couple jots out of town after that
I realized that when I left town I had the symptoms
it was like agoraphobia on a larger plain
my grandmother could not leave the house
but I could not leave town
wow leave it to my dysfunctional brain
to do it on a broader range.
I understand the anxiety of leaving a familiar place, and going to somewhere new ~ It can be quite challenging when this fear runs in the family, and distorts one's sense of boundaries ~
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining us Carrie ~
I wonder what causes that...
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the fear is learned day by day, or somehow inherited. A broader range would seem like a step in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteAnother difficult mental challenge
ReplyDeleteThank you for this journey with your mind
ReplyDelete...at least the internet and cable and such can let one "travel" a bit and expand the mind... I like the use of border collie - but on the flip side they don't let the sheep leave either - keep them in one place.
ReplyDeleteI hope you might be able to deal with it. At least your borders have widened
ReplyDeleteOh this is so familiar! My maternal grandfather only left the house to follow a short route to the local factory where he worked, which he did all of his life after he lost most of his family in the Blitz - while he was at work. My mother had periods of it and I did too. But I was lucky to have a great therapist, although I still prefer to stay at home.
ReplyDeleteSigh.. some of us have been through this.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem about invisible borders. Fear is definitely one of the strongest, I think.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I prefer staying where I am as well and not venturing out. That would be an invisible border that I create for myself.
ReplyDeleteThe rapid repetitions in this poem accentuate the feeling of oppression. The staccato adds to the anxiety in it. More than borders, the poem feels as though it has you on a leash.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this poem. Often our lives revolve around a small area for most things, and centuries ago this would perhaps have been the norm.
ReplyDeleteI love your opening line. It's fortunate you can venture out of town. I imagine knowing how this anxiety runs in the family could be an added layer of concern for you. I enjoyed how you described the situation in your poem. Janice (Ontheland)
ReplyDeleteThis poem reminds me of some borders I have...possibly unhealthy. I am certainly not much of a risk taker.I like safe. Great poem!
ReplyDeleteInteresting (not that it's fun) mental border. The Far East awaits your visit. :)
ReplyDeleteTo be denied travel is a sad state of affairs, but phobias are emotional, and pay no attention to intellect or logic. Nice creative rocking of the prompt though.
ReplyDeleteYou write beautifully of a very challenging mental illness
ReplyDeleteFear of the unknown whether outside the house, the neighborhood, the town or the nation... You've got me thinking that perhaps our nation has agoraphobia as a culture. Wow! Interesting perspective, Carrie!
ReplyDeleteI like the use of border collie. Mental borders can be some of the strongest to break through. This is some really great writing!
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