Wednesday, January 27, 2016

The Fear of Falling

Google Images

Fear is the highest fence.  ~Dudley Nichols

It is the falling that always gets to us
that keeps a person away from the scenic edge

holding tight to the railing for safety
distancing one's feet from the outer ledge.
That feeling of utter loss of control
when there is nothing below our feet
and the uncertainty of the landing
becomes another excuse to surely retreat.
For falling in love is a force that takes us off the beaten path
and if we choose to follow, it takes all the courage we have.

 linking with Poet's United for the Mid Week Motif ~ "Courage"

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Wisdom Has Callused Feet

The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. ~Muhammad Ali

If I could go back in time and look at my wedding through my divorced eyes what would I see? Would it be disappointment or a waist of time?
A bouquet of regrets held by a fool in white?

If I could go back to my childhood roots and see myself skipping through eyes with now slow shoes what would I see?  Would it be awkward steps that lead to the wrong road? A journey of ignorance or a blind traveler that still rushes to the unknown?

Truth is I just can't go back.  There are no time travelers and no magic rabbits in hats.
This life I have been living is a course that must be  hardily explored to advance.
For wisdom is a raw experience that requires exertion to truly understand.

When I look back over my life I realize that there is no way that I could know then what I know now.  Even if I could travel in time and give my self a million warnings, and believe me I needed a million of them, it just would not be the same.  I am who I am today because of all the troubles and the many blessings combined.   They have all played a part in molding me into the person I have become; a person full of compassion, hope, love, tolerance, a little bit of wisdom, with hands that know how to let go of regrets, and a few calluses to prove it. :-)

Thursday, January 7, 2016


Charing Cross Road, 1937 by Wolfgang Suschitzky

"Time and the hour run through the roughest day."
~William Shakespeare

This one is for you Berowne.  You will be missed by many indeed. :-(

Sometimes it feels as if all I have done is make a mad dash through my life.  As if I am in a race against time, I storm through a situation and place, and I am fast.  Swift like a cheetah on the pursuit of another meal.  You could call it, the big hunt for fulfillment, and you could call me "Flash", cause that is all you will see of me even if you are dear to my heart.  I am being brutally honest here.  Cannot sugar coat in the rain unless you want an even bigger mess.  The new year is upon us, and my hope for myself is to be more available to those I love.

The time in between the years
the dash on the marble stone
I guess I have taken it literally
I dash from here to there
across puddles in my path
from my car into the store
and back again
one job to the next
a never ending relay race
that only I run
and the winner is:
drum roll please....

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Happy New Year

courtesy Google Images

 Time is an old firmly rooted tree; we are the breeze rustling its leaves.
~Terri Guillemets

Monday, December 28, 2015

An Extravagant Place

It is an extravagant place where this memory resides
like a precious relic on a velvet display at a museum that
 only I
can enter and truly view
my footsteps alone echo upon the halls
again and again
to see you once more
feel your touch
my breath upon your skin
our public display of affection
that only true lovers know
it was and in essence
the longest of kisses
my greatest longing
it is an extravagant place
I suppose
long kisses always are.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

The Transient

Google Images

You don't have a soul.  You are a Soul.  You have a body.  ~C.S. Lewis

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Everyday In Heaven

"One Father's day when I was around 8, I asked my Dad why there was never a "kids day".  His response was timely and sure, he simply said, "because kid's day is everyday"!  I was certain he was trying to make me laugh and nothing more.   It was not until I was an adult that I really comprehended the truth in those words."
Amber and Seth
Many years later I became a parent myself, and through all the sweat, tears, blood, pain, and squeezing my husbands hand so that he would not feel left out in the agony, I gave birth to a 7 pound baby boy.  At that very moment my view on everything was never the same.  What had mattered in the past was truly passed, all in one babies cry.  Nothing else mattered from then on.  It was like a slate had been wiped clean, or I had amnesia to everything that existed  before.  My focus was on a little one in my arms, and nothing more.  As time went by I came to understand the idea that was behind my father's words. 

Now I have many grandchildren, and that is a whole world of it's own.  In many ways to me it is like a little bit of Heaven right here on earth.   I have 10 grand children ranging in age from 14 years to 8 months, and they are all amazing, but there is one that I do not get to see any more.  His name is Seth, and today is his earthly birthday.  You see he passed away when he was only 2 years old.   It was the year 2000, and that time is etched in my heart and memory like a scar that can not be removed.  Today, August 13th, Seth is 12 years old  in Heaven.

In my heart I feel that birthdays in Heaven are probably not the way we experience them here.  I envision every day to be a celebraion there.  Loved ones being reunited, and those that are finally able to see God's face dancing and rejoicing.   I imagine it is not something we can truly grasp in our minds at the point we are at here on earth, but I have faith that Seth knows these joyous treasures.

This post is not meant to be sorrowful, bitter, or melancholy.  For me, it is truly a celebration of a life, just as a birthday truly is here on earth.   It is a recognition and remembrance of a precious child that filled our lives with so much joy in such a short time.  I know in my heart that everyday in Heaven is a beautiful jubilee for our precious Seth, and like my Dad once said, "everyday is kids day" in Heaven.
Heaven has been blessed with your wonderful smile for 15 years.
One day we will smile there with you. :-)
I wrote this five years ago...and the feelings and message stand strong today and will forever and always.
Here is a link to something Amber wrote many years ago: click here.
To see her lovely blog click right here.

Friday, May 8, 2015

What Remains

Google Images
I originally posted this 5 years ago.  In observation of Mother's Day and my birthday, I wanted to bring it back to life again.  Happy Mother's Day everyone. :-)
Linking with Imaginary Gardens for the Tuesday Platform. :-)
 In search of my mother's garden, I found my own. ~Alice Walker
Time burns her memory like a building on flame and my heart keeps re-entering to salvage what could be lost soft cuddles pushes on the swing thoughts shared all return to view I cradle them out of the wreckage with the tenderness of a mother yet fervor of an explorer certain I will retrieve something new that had been once consumed by time's tarnishing way
one vision at a time relinquished like a photograph taken out from underneath the protective glass yet they still fade tattered at the edges and dust in between reflecting the weakness of my memory to capture every moment like a camera but I will carry on with the recovery holding on to each one like a child's hand afraid of losing them out in the open streets for I am the guardian and sole heir of them all and I will carry them with me in homage.
I turned 47 this year; the age my Mother was when she passed away.  I never realized at that time how young she truly was.  She never saw us kids grow up, attended our graduations, had the pleasure of participating in our weddings, or held her grandchildren in her arms.  Now I am very aware of the blessings that I have to see my grown children, and have the opportunity to watch my grandchildren grow up.  When I look at myself in the mirror I do not see the many wrinkles, or all the grey hairs, that seem to accumulate like dust on a picture frame.  I see the reflection of my mother's smile, and her heart that lives on in my life.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Love is a Supernova

Google Images
linking with Imaginary Gardens for the "Tuesday Platform" and "Seeing Stars".

"Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun." 
~John Lennon

When a star sings the blues
man it sure is a glorious sight

like a tear soaked guitar
that you hear with your eyes

There is a certain rhythm
like the beating of the heart

It pulses ever outward
beyond galaxies of stars.

So hush my lost lover
no need to explain

My love is a supernova
and your love flies like a plane.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Trying To Touch The Sky

Google Images

"The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision."  ~Helen Keller

All the objects within my view seem so easy to capture within my hands.
The distance between their light and shade is reachable from wear I stand.

Yet, I feel the steps would turn into miles, if tomorrow I lost my sight.
My ability to reach my destination would be like trying to touch the sky.

These hands of mine would certainly have another role to play.
They would no longer just reach out to hold, but guide and lead the way.

My sense of trust would have to increase greater than what I know.
Everything I take for granted now would have a value that would grow.

For sight and true vision are second cousins from distant stars.
One sheds light upon the cornea and the other illuminates the heart.

Linking with Imaginary Gardens and all the beautiful toads. :-)