Man rushes down narrow freeways with common destinations yet diverse dreams
not always aware of the hidden eyes that may reflect from his high beams
the doe enters the clearing and steps onto pavement full of grace
ignorant of the dangers that she may soon face
our worlds like boxes in a closet set together yet worlds apart
they intersect and collide briefly but they both leave a lasting mark.
oh...i hit a deer last year...530 AM...locked it up and grazed him...took quite a while for the old ticker to slow down...and had to call animal control to take care of him...sad. but them you looks at this metaphorically and holds true as well. each brief encounter a small touch. nice one shot!
ReplyDeleteThank you Brian, i enjoyed yours as well...put a smile on my face... :-)
ReplyDeleteI hear you Carrie! that was hard to read..but i believe God takes lives and gives others, we are somehow just tools turning in the thread of fate. Deep one shot!
ReplyDeleteLike how you wrote this poem. You say so much that leads up to the rhyme of each line. The words and image also leave a lasting mark on the reader. Well done One Shot!
ReplyDeleteThe impact of the words is made stronger by the image. We do leave jumbled lives. We humans so arrogant about our own sense of order forgetting other animals/groups have orders of their own. Leave everything the way you found it, advice from Indian tribes, is still good advice today.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this. Well written. Gay (@beachanny)
Sometimes we, like the doe, innocently enter places that hold hidden dangers for us as well. Deer are so beautiful. I would hate to hit one. They ARE so naieve...as we are too. Nice writing.
ReplyDeleteAmazing...it is good to look out what is ahead, you never know what's gonna happen next :3
ReplyDeleteI've never hit a deer, but several years ago, we were on on way back home to St. Louis after Thanksgiving, and it was hunting season. A frightened deer ran across the interstate and we would have hit it had I not shifted lanes.
ReplyDeleteBut that's not really what this fine poem is about, is it?
Ouch! Sadly, this is so true. Sometimes we just can't see until it's too late...
ReplyDeleteI see way to much of this where I live...sometimes it makes me want to stop driving...but that would not be good...so I find myself slowing down...especially at dawn and dusk...bkm
ReplyDeleteInsightful. I especially liked the last two lines, "our worlds like boxes in a closet set together yet worlds apart they intersect and collide briefly but they both leave a lasting mark."
ReplyDeleteSo much deep and insightful...
ReplyDeletenowhere island
This poetry left a lasting impact on me too...
ReplyDeleteLike it very much...
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Not only is this well written (like boxes in a closet? all right, that's just inspired writing), but it touches my heart. Indeed, the doe is such a beautiful, graceful animal. Even in the picture you've set to accompany your piece, you can see it. I don't see why people feel entitled and compelled to occupy every last inch of space. Marvelous One Shot, Carrie. You're way ahead of me, I haven't even composed mine yet!
ReplyDeleteHopefully we can avoid too many collisions, but still leave a mark. Nicely put, Carrrie!
ReplyDeleteI think animals cross the road to remind us we sometimes need to slow down in our lives.
(Or to get to the other side, if it's a chicken!)
It sounds like a lot of us have experienced seeing and hitting or almost hitting deer...thank you all so much for reading it, and for all of your comments...it always makes my day! :-)
ReplyDeleteI lvoe the layers of your message here. Rich. Deep. Memorable.
ReplyDeleteKilling an animal innocent in its way is always a shock to the driver. Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem. Hope your week goes well.
ReplyDeletea purposeful and beautiful poem.
ReplyDeletethe image makes one stop, think, and act.
never like to see those kind of things
ReplyDeletei have seen a poor animale being hit by a car it was horrible i know hunting is a sport and every thing but not with a car.
All together this is a great poem including the image. You know that you can replace the deer with another object or life and the meaning will resonate. Beautiful
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ReplyDeleteAnd you Carrie, with a notebook in hand
ReplyDeleteAnother, a camera, of sterling brand
You capture a beautiful moment and words design
To bring together nature and humankind...
very well written poem but what an awful tale..thankfully i have yet to have such a collision...cheers pete
ReplyDeleteI love the photo of the graceful deer crossing, "ignorant of the dangers that she may soon face." And the way you connect this to our travels through life.
ReplyDeletelove your photos!
ReplyDeleteSo excited to have you as a new blog follower. It's an honor for me! I look forward to getting to know you better!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
http://www.justfollowingjesus.com