Hope never abandons you, you abandon it. ~George Weinberg
It is strange how our view of things can change. What once seemed like an impossible place for me to survive, has become a bearable place to linger that I can find refuge in and truly live. I am not speaking of actual places nor shelter, I am referring to the mind and the stresses of life that we cannot escape. There was a time when dealing with a grown child with alcohol and addiction problems would put me directly into a major panic attack. I would be unable to calm my mind, and my peace was stolen like a timex watch left out in the street. My mind would race with the chaos of dread. All that could go wrong and all the worst that could happen danced around in my mind. A ballroom waltz between peril and calamity. They don't dance gracefully though. It is an appalling sight where bunions get stepped on and all look on in misery. Somehow, in the course of time and it's way of healing, I have learned to cope. The deeds of another human dear to my heart are not internalized like my hand is the hand that pulled the trigger to a gun I never laid eyes on. Things have improved, but when something does go wrong it does not have the same impact as before. My mind is not at the end of a loaded weapon that can kill my peace with one bang. It is not an impossible place to have any peace or sanity. It is now a shelter with some peace and a warm blanket of hope that keeps my thoughts and cares warm.
