Hope never abandons you, you abandon it. ~George Weinberg
It is strange how our view of things can change. What once seemed like an impossible place for me to survive, has become a bearable place to linger that I can find refuge in and truly live. I am not speaking of actual places nor shelter, I am referring to the mind and the stresses of life that we cannot escape. There was a time when dealing with a grown child with alcohol and addiction problems would put me directly into a major panic attack. I would be unable to calm my mind, and my peace was stolen like a timex watch left out in the street. My mind would race with the chaos of dread. All that could go wrong and all the worst that could happen danced around in my mind. A ballroom waltz between peril and calamity. They don't dance gracefully though. It is an appalling sight where bunions get stepped on and all look on in misery. Somehow, in the course of time and it's way of healing, I have learned to cope. The deeds of another human dear to my heart are not internalized like my hand is the hand that pulled the trigger to a gun I never laid eyes on. Things have improved, but when something does go wrong it does not have the same impact as before. My mind is not at the end of a loaded weapon that can kill my peace with one bang. It is not an impossible place to have any peace or sanity. It is now a shelter with some peace and a warm blanket of hope that keeps my thoughts and cares warm.
This is a very poignant piece, Carrie. Thank you for sharing with such honesty. I am glad that you have now found the kind of peace of mind that allows you to go on when something goes wrong.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful ... loved it :-)
ReplyDeletegreat lines carrie...even an impossible place could be tamed with our patience and hope...experiences make us wiser to deal with world better..love the inspiring lines...
ReplyDeleteWhat beautifully expressed sentiments, Carrie. I think sometimes that we do grow through the crises of our lives, and somehow with time realize we can make it through & find a way to keep that inner peace when outside sometimes the world crumbles. Not easy, but possible. You found the way!
ReplyDeleteMy heart is joyful for you Carrie.
ReplyDeletePeace of mind is critical to our well-being.
Wonderfully expressed!
I recognize the terror, and how long it can take to feel less terrorized. Been there; done that; have the scars to prove it. Glad you shared your progress. That sharing helps us all to keep moving!
ReplyDeleteBlessings and Bear hugs, from the Canadian Bear!
This is an honest, heartfelt and eloquent expression of the "impossible places" we are put in by those we love - and dealing with that. Writing helps a lot, I have found, but - ah, me - as Bette Davis once said: “Old age ain't no place for sissies” - so it is, I think, with love.
ReplyDeleteAn impossible place that has become possible for you with time. A brave and beautiful tale. Blessings and thanks for posting this.
ReplyDeleteall too often our own thoughts become that impossible place to escape from...our imaginations can twist reality into a scary place....reality can be just as scary though....
ReplyDeleteExcellent analogies and a very heartfelt write. I can relate to finding that inner quiet, instead not being the loaded gun. It was a long road. Love that phrase-the ballroom dance between peril and calamity. :-)
ReplyDeleteAn impossible place that became possible to you. I wish everyone could experience that! This is truly a beautiful and honest write, Carrie. I enjoyed it.
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