I chose to be blind. It was easier that way. With eyes closed like a window shade I refused to see the truth. No light could come in and warm my broken heart. Some burdens are too heavy to bear all at once, or alone so I did not look. I threw away my map and I gave no glances to the east nor to the west. Not knowing was the only comfort I could grasp. Fumbling in that kind of darkness....is a long walk to any light. So denial became both my friend and my enemy...engraved in one shroud of regret, that hurt to wear, and was even more painful to take off. I can see that now, but in the midst of the storm, I was blind.
This was written for Kerry's Wednesday challenge at Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads.
It is my attempt at a prose poetry piece....a big weakness for me. This is something I really went through and never want to have to face again. The only thing worse than our heartaches in life...is our children's.
Wow, so beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteis heartfelt and wonderful..thanks for a beautiful read..
ReplyDeleteit is always a choosing, is it not... even those times we feel that we have no choice.
ReplyDeletethoughtful and elegant.
A beautiful write!
ReplyDeleteThought provoking! Sometimes it pays to just ignore and turn a blind eye.
ReplyDeleteHank
nice...i think you did well with it...it makes me think of the years for me that i consider my dark period where i stumbled around just trying to find traction again in life...
ReplyDeletei think you did a wonderful job with it. i felt your very real pain.
ReplyDeletep.s. love the new header photo...
One way to deal with crippling disappointment or betrayal is to push it into the middle distance until it is safe to take a long hard look at what went wrong. Anyone who has been there will know where you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteAlways wonderful to have you visit on Real Toads.
oh great big sigh. i see no weakness here.
ReplyDeleteJust superb..so heartfelt..I went down a similar path...found this prompt because of you...thanks!!
ReplyDeletethis sounds beautiful. prose-poetry suits you.
ReplyDeleteOh, Carrie. I SO HEAR YOU. I relate so much - and yes, the only thing worse than our heartaches are our children's. In fact, they become our biggest heartaches. We can only handle so much at a time, so we protect ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI love the evolution and growth in this poem....love the line "Fumbling in that kind of darkness is a long walk to any light." Glad you made it through and out the other side, and I hope it never does happen again. Peace.
I once "threw away my map" too. Wonderfully written. Introspective and wise.
ReplyDeleteI don't know anything about prose poetry but I do know that "engraved in one shroud of regret", is pure poetry and that if I were to seek a definition of prose poetry, this piece would be it.
ReplyDeleteCarrie I think this is wonderful writing. The line "Not knowing was the only comfort I could grasp." really spoke to me.
ReplyDeleteYou show your strength, by seeing your weakness...
ReplyDeleteWell spoken, heartfelt writing. We choose blindness when there seems no other bearable option, but sooner or later most of us choose to see again...
ReplyDeleteWonderful writing, Carrie. I think sometimes that after a period of darkness you can see the light better. Thank you for your honest, heartfelt write.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone...this one was a tough one for me for more than one reason...:-)
ReplyDelete