Thursday, July 29, 2010

Rustling of The Sheets


There was a time
together
in your bed
I could hear
nothing less than
the wistful steps
of your eyes
tickling my skin
and the whispering
of your thoughts
mingling with mine
hanging
on the hopes of
forever...

Now
alone
in this bed
I can hear
nothing more than
the rustling of the sheets
as I toss and turn.

23 comments:

  1. once together,
    now gone,
    what a lovely sentiments...
    beautifully done!

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  2. I hope he comes back...it is to lonely...those empty sheets...bkm

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  3. What a familiar feeling of longing! "the wistful steps of your eyes" "hanging on the hopes of forever" what beautiful lines!

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  4. beautiful lines Carrie. Thanks so much for visiting me..:)

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  5. For me...Alone is OK
    "LONELY" is not!

    I would have gambled that your "alone" is not "lonely"...but it sounds like I lose.

    There is always another day, another love, another period of necessary growth.

    PEACE!

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  6. So much said with so little...brilliant brevity indeed...felt.

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  7. it hurts to read this but there is something so hopeful within that causes me to believe that there the sun still shines...simply beautiful, carrie.

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  8. Carrie, excellent poem of two moods. Sultry with a dash of sad reality.

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  9. Carrie, this poem really packs a lot of feeling into the two stanzas. Tossing and turning is NOT fun....but the poem is beautiful.

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  10. I held my breath as I read this piece, Carrie. It is just beautiful, and captures the emotions so well. I found myself thinking: I wish I had written this one.

    :)Kerry

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  11. Beautifully done and so sad!
    Pamela

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  12. You express the emotions of loss so powerfully. Keep writing! And thanks so much for visiting my site. I'll keep coming back!

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  13. Tragic, heartbreaking, deeply stirring. This poetry at its very best and most astounding.

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  14. YES, we have all experienced that.
    It's a painful part of being grown-up...
    Wow, well said.

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  15. Simply said and therefore very effective.

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  16. Carrie,
    I liked the opposite life situations, contained within your words. Not easy to move from one emotion to the other, but you have managed this very well.
    Excellent 'real life' experience, recounted here.
    Best wishes,
    Eileen

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  17. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read it and all of your feedback...it always is a wonderful blessing to read everyones comments...I have been gone at a reunion all weekend...so that is why I am so late at commenting back. :-)

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  18. that is bittersweet beauty....

    Reminds me of a past life....

    *hugs*

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  19. wow. you wrote the contrast so excellent..

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  20. Alaurilee I really enjoyed your poem for the prompt it was perfect...this one is of a past life for me. Thank you for reading it and stopping by... :-)

    Thank you sarah for stopping by with kind words...
    :-)

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  21. We always have such hope at the beginning of a relationship. I wonder how often these dreams truly play out?

    Your poem is beautiful and poignant.

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  22. Carrie, wow!So moving...so realistic...ooh, life's puzzles and contracts....how they put our lives to test!Reminds me of my Poem "No longer my love". But this one is pretty potent and so moving...ooh, how unpredictable life games are for all its unsuspecting worldly players!Hmmm....

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  23. the wistful steps
    of your eyes
    tickling my skin

    What a lovely visual...two minus one is sad. Lovely poem, Carrie.

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"Our best thoughts come from others." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

....and they lived happily ever after.....

....and they lived happily ever after.....
The End.